


From When He Was Martha

by internetpiratearrr



Category: Cabin Pressure
Genre: Another Trans Male Character, Coming Out, Dr John Randall - RPF, Gen, References to Historical Transphobia, They're all trans that's the plot, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Trans Male Character, and another
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2020-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:27:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23057725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/internetpiratearrr/pseuds/internetpiratearrr
Summary: Everyone at MJN is trans. Martin is unaware of this. He does know his trans history though.A coming out story.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 25





	From When He Was Martha

**Author's Note:**

> Content Warning: This fic involves some descriptions of transphobia, some which consist of Martin’s hypothetical fears and some are the experiences of NHS gender services in the 1970s that Carolyn and Douglas share.
> 
> With thanks to Mungo_of_Maundery for the beta!

Captain Martin Crieff has managed to remain closeted at MJN for 516 days. When he interviewed, he’d had his Gender Recognition Certificate for all of one week and the scars on his chest were still angry and red. He was not able to grow a moustache and he was fairly vibrating with anxiety about being outed, among other things. So many other things.

Captain Martin Crieff is about to embark upon day 517. He is still unable to grow a moustache. He is still a hive of anxiety. The routine he’s established allows for some semblance of security and he clings tightly to this and to his Boundaries. He is very clear on his Boundaries. The word games and competitions and the desperation to get one over on Douglas helps; it’s hard to maintain all-consuming panic if you’re distracted coming up with an airport to rhyme with bananas.

Still, he’s conscious of Douglas’s comments about air hostesses, and what they might mean he doesn’t know - but he’s also sure he doesn’t want to know and to be fair he’s never seen Douglas read the News of the World or the Daily Mail but even The Guardian wouldn’t necessarily be a safe bet either. And if Douglas ever did find out what if he were to make jokes about it. God he couldn’t begin to stand that. But then if he didn’t make jokes about it and was just uncomfortable and awkward about it then that would be awful too. It’s not like he could find a job elsewhere. They’d be trapped together with the disgust and pity and disrespect choking at them. In the moments that Martin thinks about it, the all-consuming dread and discomfort gets too much and he has to play his Flight Simulator for at least an hour to calm down, no matter how tired he might be.

On day 517 they’re flying to Manas International Airport in Kyrgyzstan. Arthur has gone to prepare the cheese tray (to which Martin has lost all rights) and Martin’s kicking himself for not thinking that Manas could passably be said to rhyme with bananas - and cursing himself for betting on Fruit Salad Fuselage Stoppages in the first place. Carolyn is hanging about in the cabin, moaning about the doctor’s appointment she went to yesterday, “ – and then the sanctimonious bastard said, ‘Do you really think you ought to be flying at your age, dearie?’ I swear if Arthur hadn’t held me back the doctor would have been the one flying.”

Martin’s eyebrows rise whilst Douglas chuckles, “I don’t doubt it. Still, could be worse, eh?” At this point Douglas puts on a drawling voice with an accent somehow more posh than his usual one, “See once again you are over-stepping the mark, Carolyn, and I don’t like it. Not one bit. Now, have you experienced any bed wetting?”

Carolyn laughs and adopts the same haughty tone, “Well I must confess I take _exception_ to you doing that, Douglas. If you don’t obey my every whim and demand in order to satisfy my megalomaniac God Complex, why then I won’t approve you for treatment, not at all.” The two of them fall into laughter at this and Martin is confused.

“Er, what’s this about?” he asks somewhat hesitantly.

Douglas waves his hand dismissively, still trying to calm down from the laughing, “Oh, just a doctor who treated Carolyn and I in the ‘70s. A despicable human being by all accounts.”

“Oh,” Carolyn sighs, recovering from her own laughter, “You can say that again.” She turns to Martin, “I actually first met Douglas in Dr Randall’s waiting room.”

She smiles at him, but the name has triggered something in his brain and without thinking he blurts out, “Dr John Randall?” Carolyn and Douglas both snap to full attention, all traces of humour gone, staring at Martin who has just realised where he recognises the name Dr John Randall. Immediately he feels his heart start pounding in his chest as his mouth goes dry and his palms begin to itch and he tries desperately to recover his breathing.

“Where do you know the name Dr John Randall from, Martin?” Douglas’s voice is tight and clipped and Martin is somewhat conscious of the immense tension in his tone, but the roaring in his ears is overwhelming as his mind desperately tries to find an answer other than the various transgender memoirs he read when he was trying to work things out. How might a cisgender person know about an obscure doctor at Charing Cross from 30 years ago? He lets out a stressed and somewhat high-pitched squeak and he shouts the first answer that comes to him, “School! We learned at school!”

Martin catches the look on Douglas’s face and his heart sinks as he realises the likelihood of this, or rather the unlikelihood of this. And then he actually thinks about the look on Douglas’s face and there’s distinct suspicion there, but there’s also something wild and caged in his eyes and Martin thinks it might actually be fear. He looks across to look at Carolyn and she schools her face quickly into a controlled expression, her jaw set, yet somehow the lift of her head is proud.

“You were-“ he starts haltingly, “You were patients of John Randall? At Charing Cross?”

Carolyn and Douglas share a look, and Carolyn must see something in Douglas’s face because she turns back to Martin and gives a stiff nod.

“At- Was it as psychiatric patients? Or was it as-” Martin is suddenly hit by the level of personal information he’s asking for here and his eyes widen as he rushes to backtrack, “I mean you don’t have to answer at all. I don’t need to know any information about this.”

Douglas’s fist is tight and the knuckles white and he’s breathing deeply with strict control. He closes his eyes for a second before saying slowly and measured, “It’s alright, Martin. You can ask.”

Martin bites his lip and says with a slight tremor in his voice, “Were you patients at the gender clinic there?” He takes a very deep breath before adding carefully, “Because I was. Two years ago.”

Carolyn and Douglas share a wide-eyed look at this and resoluteness settles on Carolyn’s face. “I was, twenty-five years ago. Dr Randall didn’t like my attitude though, denied me treatment because I wouldn’t kiss his feet. I took a trip to Casablanca instead.”

“I first went twenty-five years ago too, although I was better at holding in my vitriol than Carolyn was, so I continued receiving treatment until twenty-two years ago.” Douglas’s tone was still precise, but his hand was no longer clenched.

“So we’re all-“ Martin broke off.

“Transgender.” Douglas finished shakily. The full absurdity of the situation hit Martin and he let out a little huff of air. He tried to hold back a smile but he was faced with another break of laughter. Douglas started to shake, silent laughter taking hold of him before he heard Carolyn laugh too and before long the three of them had tears in their eyes in fits at the sheer release of tension. When one of them would start to recover they’d catch another’s eye and they’d be convulsing once again.

“Cheese tray is finally ready! I had some difficulty sorting the- Oh hello. Why are we all laughing?” Arthur stood in the entrance to the cabin. Douglas and Carolyn only laugh even more at Arthur’s entrance, but Martin is suddenly seized by another jolt of fear upon seeing Arthur.

“Hello, Arthur,” Douglas greets between wheezes of laughter, “We just told Martin that your mother and I are both transgender.”

“Oh! Okay,” Arthur grins before squinting his face in confusion, “Why is that funny?”

Martin turns to look at Arthur frowning, “You’re not surprised?” Douglas and Carolyn titter at this but Martin ignores them.

“What do you mean, Skip? She’s my Mum. I’m going to know if she’s trans.” Arthur says very self-evidently.

“Oh. Of course. I hadn’t though of-“

“Also,” Arthur interrupts, “I’m trans too,” he adds with a wide smile. Douglas and Carolyn who have been watching this exchange with immense amusement break down once again in hysterics of laughter.

“Wait what- What do you mean? You’re transgender as well?” Carolyn grabs onto Douglas’s shoulder to make sure she doesn’t fall over with mirth at Martin’s disbelief, “But you couldn’t keep a secret if your life were depending on it!”

Arthur looks disturbed, “There’s a secret I have to keep?”

Douglas tries to regulate his breathing so he can answer, “He means that you’re trans, Arthur. Now that he mentions it, how do you manage to not tell people? You are without a doubt the worst liar I have ever met.”

Arthur’s face is once more scrunched up in bewilderment, “I don’t have a secret? I’m a man and people know I’m a man. That’s not a secret, Douglas. That’s just a,” He stops, seemingly trying to find the right word, “a not-secret.”

“Fair enough,” Douglas nods sagely.

“So, just to clear this up,” Martin starts, “Everyone in MJN is transgender?”

“Everyone. Except GERTI, as far as I can tell,” Douglas answers.

Carolyn looks thoughtful, “Well, actually-“

**THE END**

**Author's Note:**

> Who knows who’s flying the plane whilst all this happens. If they crash you know why.
> 
> Dr John Randall was a very real doctor who handled trans NHS patients from 1950s-1970s. If you’re reading memoirs of trans people in Britain during this period, you can bet there’ll be reference to Dr Randall. 
> 
> If you want to see Dr Randall in Action there’s a really short clip here on YouTube: https://youtu.be/aeBwniFDDK4 
> 
> If you’re really interested, you can watch a documentary about Julia Grant transitioning in the late 70s in what was a watershed moment in humanising depictions of trans people in the media. This has a lot more of Dr Randall: https://youtu.be/3HCrKpS7guI 
> 
> Both of these videos include immense transphobia. If you want to watch a non-transphobic version of Dr Randall, he was so notorious that The League of Gentlemen satirised him, although the clip does have Mark Gatiss in drag in it. I don’t know if that’s a draw or a drawback for you. Also, there’s a content warning for sexual harassment in this clip: https://youtu.be/PMUBoa0URlY 
> 
> Dr Randall would actually refer to patients by their deadnames and with the wrong pronouns but, whilst I think Douglas and Carolyn are both aware of each other’s deadnames, they’re absolutely not going to use them as part of their shared joke.
> 
> If you want to learn more about the history of trans rights in Britain then you have to read Trans Britain. It’s such a comprehensive history with a lot of writers, many of whom talk about their experiences with Randall. It’s fantastic.
> 
> I am currently in the middle of writing a more comprehensive background fic about just Arthur being trans so maybe be on the lookout for that.
> 
> If you think it’s unlikely that they’re all trans – it’s not! We Cluster. Is Herc trans too? You bet!
> 
> You don't have to transition medically or socially to be trans! I've only referred to it as a focus point here because it's a shared expereince I think that Martin, Carolyn, and Douglas have. I also personally wouldn't call transitioning 'treatment' but trans people all have different personal experinces and preferences when it comes to terminology, especially across generations.
> 
> How did Carolyn have Arthur? Who knows. Usually I’d just be like eh the Dad’s trans too but I think Gordon Shappey is possibly the only cis person in the whole show. Apart from Ruth - maybe he was Ruth’s son and she adopted him?


End file.
